Saturday, December 17, 2011
But as many as received him, to them He gave the right to become the sons of God, to those who believe on his name;
Like every family..Christmas season brings us many things to "do"...many wonderful enjoyable things..parties, cookie making, getting our Christmas tree from the farm, Decorating, hot chocolate...school parties, good gifts.
But unlike some families, Christmas has a deep life meaning for us. It is the celebration for us that our Saviour did come. It reminds us who we are and why we are here. It perseveres us ahead into a new year.
The pictures in this post show smiling faces. They might make you think of a "happy family". We are happy indeed, but what the picture can not tell you is why we are happy. It can lead you to believe something about us. But I wanted to clarify that our lives really represent something about someone else.
What you can not see in these pictures is that most days, I am desperately in need of people's approval. And I will do good and bad to gain approval..to know "I am okay..I matter" I am desperate to feel loved.
What you can not see in these pictures is that my husband is desperate for power. He wants to influence as many people as possible so he can know "He is okay..He matters" He is desperate for love.
What you can not see in these pictures is that Wesley-grant and Kelly (our son who we are adopting from Haiti) are desperate for power and control. Wesley-grant wants to know he can be a leader...kelly wants to make sure no one hurts him again. They are unsure of love and their need of it.
What you can not see in these pictures is that Sally and Karis are desperate for approval and power. Sally wants to please everyone and never fail so that she will feel loved. karis wants to be in charge so that she can feel like she matters and is loved.
We are 6 people who can not make it on our own. On our best day we fail. On our best day we take credit for greatness and suppress the truth of God. In our grandest work our hearts want to be better than others and never allow anyone to matter more than us.
We are desperate people.
But there was Christmas. A long time ago, Jesus came. He came to do what He said He would do. He knew those he made before us, us, and those after us and that we would be desperate. That we would suppress His truth and try to find love on our own. We would create all kinds of ways...all kinds of pictures that looked like we had it all together. But God, who made us, knew our greatest need. And only He could come to save us when we could not save ourselves.
Christmas for us is the hope of our lives. Jesus came to do all we couldn't. Jesus came so that we would know we were loved. And as He says in His word, "give us the right to become children of God." No longer desperate or orphaned on our own. But saved. To learn a new way. To understand why we are here. To pour truth into the most terrible lie: "God does not love us".
This christmas, we will enjoy the traditions, the parties, the decorations, good gifts...but we celebrate b/c of the greatest gift ever given to us....Jesus.
What you also can not see in this picture, is that God is making us new...He is taking our brokenness and working for us. It is His work, not ours that makes all things well.
Christmas is life for us..and we are forever changed b/c of it.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
"Kelly fell, get him!!!!" screamed stew. It was Thursday evening. Our last evening in Haiti. We had just finished dinner and were off to bed. The big ache had been within me all day. Tomorrow I would say good-bye again and continue the waiting for our son to come home.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Principal Justin Scott with kids at the Exhibition for the kids
Family Saturday Schools....watching some accomplishments from the year
Art Show downtown with students from Kipp...and Ms. Boswell the Art teacher
Handicap spots the kids made to apply things they learned to help their community
Engineering Class display from the year
Playing Haitian Futbol after talking to the kids about Haiti and Kelly
One of many gardens the kids have planted this year on their campus.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Friday, May 6, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
I find myself at that place again...between there and here. Between coming home and planning for the next return to Haiti. I find so much weakness on my part. So much need for Jesus. Day by day...minute by minute...He is faithful to carry us ahead. He is not only faithful, but He is so personal in helping us at each needy moment.
I found myself in line today at the post office...for over 40 minutes. We have one document that has needed to be changed again...so i am waiting to express mail something again. 3 kids, long line, one clerk. You can see the picture! =) My heart was racing...my body was tense...I literally imagined myself yelling out at the clerk, "hey can you get any damn person up here to help, this is crazy!"...If God had not have been holding my mouth, i really think i would have yelled that out...i started to sweat like every mother with 3 kids in a long line waiting on time sensitive material...it was awful. And then, in the quietness of my soul, I sensed the LORD saying, "Lean on me".
You see, that is how it works in a relationship. I am a daughter of the KING. Jesus is my LORD. But he is my Heavenly Father. I often forget his promises. I often forget that He has all my days and everything for me. I forget my own adoption. That he sent Jesus to come and die to appease the law that I could only break. He sent Jesus to do all the work that I could not do. He sent Jesus to give me all that I did not have. Why? Because He is my father. I am his daughter. At the perfect time, He opened my eyes and ears to see and hear his voice. To be awakened to new life and to be in His family when I was far off. But i doubt it in those moments like at the post office...or when people don't approve of me...or when I want to control my husband or children. I forget I am a daughter of the KING. There is nothing I could ever do to change my status. Jesus paid all for me, like a big fat debt. Because of Jesus' work, I am declared a child of God. I am a daughter.
Abraham never wavered HOPE in regard to God's promise to him. This is a reality and prayer for our son, Kelly. We skyped with him last Sunday and he was like the first time we saw him. Just starring. Not really responding. There was so much behind his eyes. It was all i could do not to cry as we spoke that we loved him. That he was our son. That mama and papa were coming. We would not leave him there. Kelly has been left over and over by many. I feared that he had lost hope..or doubt us. My prayer is for HOPE for him.
But despite. Kelly is our son. Though we left him, we had to. We have to go and prepare our home for him. Everything we have is his, because he is our son. But we must appease all the laws for USA and Haiti for kelly. We have to do this for him to be declared our son. But in the waiting, he is our son. We will come for him. We will not leave him orphaned. Kelly can't do anything that we are doing. He can't make himself our son. Only what we do makes him our son. Nothing he does or doesn't do will change his staus. He is our son and because he is our son, he can have hope and not doubt. He can believe the promise we have made to him, that we will come for him. Because he is our son.
Because he is our son, I stood in the line today at the post office. And i heard the whisper of my savior that because I am his daughter, I can ask Him for all things. So I asked him for help in my weakness. I asked him for another clerk. I asked him for this document to get there in the perfect timing. I asked him for the patience to wait for the day He has planned for Kelly's home coming...trusting Him for the day I too will meet my savior face to face....and finally be home myself. And He did for me, because I am his daughter.
Thank you Jesus for your reminders of our adoption as your children. I pray that many more of your children will hear your voice and come to you.
18In hope against hope he believed, so that he might become a father of many nations according to that which had been spoken, "SO SHALL YOUR DESCENDANTS BE."
19Without becoming weak in faith he contemplated his own body, now as good as dead since he was about a hundred years old, and the deadness of Sarah's womb;
20yet, with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God,
21and being fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform.
22Therefore IT WAS ALSO CREDITED TO HIM AS RIGHTEOUSNESS.
23Now not for his sake only was it written that it was credited to him,
24but for our sake also, to whom it will be credited, as those who believe in Him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead,
25He who was delivered over because of our transgressions, and was raised because of our justification.
1"Do not let your heart be troubled;believe in God, believe also in Me.
2"In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you.
3"If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also.
4"And you know the way where I am going."
5Thomas said to Him, "Lord, we do not know where You are going, how do we know the way?"
6Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.
18"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
2For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death.
3For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh,
4so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.
4For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.
15For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba! Father!"
16The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God,
17and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.
18For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
19For the anxious longing of the creation waits eagerly for the revealing of the sons of God.
20For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope
21that the creation itself also will be set free from its slavery to corruption into the freedom of the glory of the children of God.
22For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now.
23And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body.
24For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees?
25But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.
26In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words;
27and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.
28And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
29For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren;
30and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified.
31What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?
32He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?
33Who will bring a charge against God's elect? God is the one who justifies;
34who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us.
35Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
37But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us.
38For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers,
39nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
This passage was read to us this weekend as our family went on a retreat with our adoption agency...for rest and training. It was a gift. I realized there that I had been a "wreck" all week due to the longing and waiting in my heart for Kelly. But these verses of real life in me, give comfort to the real life in waiting for kelly's adoption into our family.
I don't have many words right now. I am watching myself change as much as i want kelly's life to change. It is hard. It is good.
I was reading Narnia to Wesley-grant last night and it talked about why lucy could see Aslan's face when others could not. It was because she "knew his face". Edmund, when being accused of all his wrongs by the witch, though he felt he must do or say something, knew that he only must keep his eyes on Aslan's face.
I must keep my eye on my Father's face. My Lord has never failed. He who made adoption will also see Kelly's adoption through.
So we wait. May 9-15th we get to go and spend with kelly again! I am so excited! 28 more days! =)
When you pray, ask for God to bring Kelly home (as well as all of our friends' children) this year.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
smiles were endless...this kid was more and different than we had ever imagined before
Each morning I wake up and have to face 2 things. Kelly is not with us today. But I get to see him in 38 days. I waver between the sadness and the hope. I am challenged to believe His promises and trusting that God has taken care of Kelly this far and can take care of him ahead.