If you were to come over to my home today, I would have one thing on my mind. If you pulled a chair up to my table, I would serve you a drink and have only one story on my heart to tell. If you came scheduled or unexpectantly, I would still have the same journey to tell you about....our adoption journey.
One of my favorite things is to sit in a cafe with any person in this world and drink deeply of the stories of life. I wish I could take every friend and every stranger and have them over to sit and talk about life.
Two years ago today, I walked into a large building to attend a conference that was meant to expose me to adoption. I was on the journey of adoption but had no idea what was ahead. I just started walking.
Three months later I would be getting my fingerprints, shots, telling my childhood story and traveling to Haiti to meet my son. I kept walking, with many questions, many fears and extremely wide eyes watching to see what the next door would open up to me.
Two years later, I have more stories of beauty and brokenness, miracles and impossibilities, death and life. And in one sitting, I could speak of all of that just for my own life.
I used to see my neighbors in hardships and think it was too hard for them, now I point them to my God, who comforts in a way that makes them stronger and full of hope. I used to be afraid of risks and only walk in what I could see ahead. Now, I live more by what I don't see tangibly than what I can do with my own hands. We had $165.00 to start our adoption with and have seen God take both our own money and others and create $30K. I used to pride myself in my schedules and abilities to clean and keep everything in its place, now I hope to fold laundry within a few days after it is clean or have the kids clean the bathroom mirror and call the bathroom "clean". What I thought were perfections in me are dying, so that real perfection of God can be seen more clearly.
So today, if you came by my house, I would fix a cup of coffee or Hot tea and slice you up some pumpkin bread, as fall comes and I enter into another year of this journey to bring our son home. I would want to hear about your day, b/c my day is often too complicated to explain in it's fullness. If you asked me how I was doing, my eyes would probably fill with tears and I would smile as tears ran down my face. I would tell you that I am learning that hardships are not so scary anymore. If you asked me when my son would be home, I would say, "I don't know, but God knows and He is coming, just wait with me and you will see."
Then I would take a deep breath and tell you of the beautiful story God is writing in us as we have journeyed to bring our son home. You might cry with me, but at the end, all you could see would be God. You see, our story is nothing less than God himself writing life into us and all 5 of us are being changed!
You might say at the end that "you are so strong" or "I admire you" but then I would show you the wounds of my heart prior to my journey and tell you again of the One who actually holds and leads us. And it would be my only hope that when you left my house, you would understand more of God and your own story too.
Continue with us...as we wait and see what God will do. I have no idea what is all ahead, but I know our God will do it! He will bring our son home...watch him!
We will go to visit our son again in November and will be taking our oldest son, Wesley-Grant. With each trip, I panic thinking about having to leave our son one more time. But each time, I hope that it might be our last. The process in Haiti is very complicated to explain of where we are at and why. August 29th, we moved forward b/c of your prayers. Lord willing, we will run this last part of the marathon strong. We need you. Please stay with us. Wait with me on this pier and together we will all rejoice, not only for our son coming home, but that us and all of you have changed in this journey together!! It is worth it...stay with us and you will see.